There is a term kiasu in use among the peoples of Malaysia and Singapore. It is a transliteration of a Hokkien expression meaning fear of losing. Hokkien is a dialect that originates from the province of Fujian in South China.
Fear of loss is a natural part of our psyche given that survival has been central to the evolution of life. We are wired to save ourselves first before any other consideration. This keeps animals alive in the wild where death and predators are a constant danger. In air-conditioned cities like Kuala Lumpur and Singapore the notion of survival has rather different connotations.
Kiasu is an evolved version of the survival instinct. In Singapore, where it is probably the safest place on earth to cross the road, death is likely to come at us more from our diet than from external physical causes. Malaysia is so obviously green and luxuriant and fecund that death from the results of metabolic syndrome rather than starvation is the real danger – we will die from laziness, not hard labour.
In such environments of physical comfort and safety, the simple instinct to survive has become a drive to maximise our survival. We must not only make sure we have enough, we must make sure we have a lot of it!
How that plays out in our life is that we become opportunistic, grabbing at every advantage that shows itself. To miss out on something that we could have had is akin to dying. So, if there is a sale or a discount available, we must take advantage of it. If something is being given away free in town, we must go grab it!
It’s a fear of losing out, of missing out, of being less. This is a meme deeply installed in our mind, especially if we grew up in this part of the world, with its history of lack from the second world war, followed by a newfound wealth and prosperity which we have been taught to always fear losing. And the news in the media of every recession drives the fear in even deeper.
Once this mind virus is lodged deep in our unconscious, it can do untold harm to our lives, especially our happiness.
First off, kiasu kills the possibility of being present. Are you always in a rush, unable to stop and smell the flowers, constantly fretting about the future? If you do, kiasu has you!
Then kiasu kills the possibility of tranquility. Are you always regretting your decisions, wishing you had thought of what is now obviously a better choice? Are you always kicking yourself for not having thought of something earlier? If you do, kisau has you!
And kiasu kills possibilities in your life. Are you afraid to risk the new? Do you find yourself saying no to new things, new opportunities, afraid that being adventurous could lose it all for you? If you do, kiasu has you!
So, how do we break free of kiasu?
That’s another story…
KH
Thursday: Western Names in the East.
